Stuck in a rut

Just feeling as if I am stuck in a rut.

What am I OR What have I become?

Am I an Athlete? A triathlete? a runner, swimmer, husband, father? A draftsman, computer programmer? A student? A financial savay investor? I seem to be able to choose only one or two. I cannot seem to juggle more than one at a time.

What is more important to me? to my wife?

I have gotten to this place in time where it is mostly just me and my wife. I don't have a million other things pulling me in all sorts of drections. The choices are few. There are some more important than others. First and foremost is my wife's illness. This will be my main focus when and if something happens. So far everything is "kindof" cool???? But who knows??? She has been super.

Comforting me are the thoughts that it has been a short 5 months ago since I have been able to participate in the atheletic event of one's lifetime. I have gotten that out of the way. But I would still like to try and stay in shape. I am having a hard time to find a few hours a day to work out. Why? Work doesn't seem to allow it.

I have been working with a financial planner for about two months now and we are making progress, but there is still lots of work to be done. I made a lot of progress on my filing upstairs.

Projects are getting out at work, but they seem to be piling up faster than I can process them. The quality of workers is just not there. I get no support form my boss. Remeber that! I GET NO SUPPORT FROM MY BOSS! I need to keep this in the forefront of my mind when I am making decisions. I cannot change that.

March is nearly over

Been blogging for pretty much a year. Last year I quit blogging in Feb and March. I was wayyyy too busy working OT. This year I find myself in the same position. I am looking at OT for maybe the next month. But the money is good. I am really hoping that taxes don't take too large a bite out of my cash - cause i have images of paying 5 car payments this month. Not an easy feat, but I am really nervous about this debt. I must be nuts!!!!

No excercise yesterday. I woke up late and a headache developed.

Wifie talked with a doctor yesterday and ended up verry upbeat. I am happy for her.

First ride of the year

I get up yesterday and do hours of filing papers. Yes it catches up with you after not doing it for years. So, I really feel pressed for time and don't want to waste commute time going to the gym. I decide to ride my bike for the day's excercise. I get on it and first thing I have to do is clear my computer. Well it is registering 112.x miles. I have not ridden it since IMHawaii. I am having to clear my most memorable ride ever from the computer. I can count on two fingers the times that I have ridden 112 miles.

Anyway, I have an enjoyable easy 25 miler wher I average 18 mph. It was windy, I rode easy and had a few spurts where I gave it some good effort. My ass is probably too sore to ride again today.

So, I finish my ride and work on my clothes and end up taking mommy-cat out to Martin's wine cellar for lunch in our very new Porsche 997. We have a delightful lunch and drive around Bucktown dreaming of buying one of the new homes under construction.

We come home and I wash the Porsche and put it back away (it has 700 miles). I wash more clothes. Mommy-cat watches Nascar. We end up coming back upstairs to do more filing.

Good news: We are almost finished filing. Next week, maybe we can finally finish the finances. If we don't finish we can probably be very close. We are moving very close to our April 15th. We will find out how much we have to pay the US Government. It is always a big mystery.

What to write about?

My son became a homeowner yesterday. Well not just a homeowner, but a mansion owner. He is living in a house that is soooo much bigger than mine. I think it is great to have big aspirations but I think he is overextending himself. What do I know? Well the ending of the story will play out. This I do know, I don't know jack shit bout much.

Another one of my wakeup and feel bad days yesterday. They seem to come the day after I drink. But I can't prove it is because of the drinking because I nearly drink everyday.

Drinking numbs the pain.

Anyway no running yesterday. I will run today. Hopefully I can knock out six miles. I am hoping to get my work back on track this week. Then I can get back to the gym. Not! Who am I kidding? I am working out of my leadership position. Once I accomplish that, I can take back control of my life.

Wifie got her appointment to see her specialist. It won't be until May. I suggested that we make a mini vacation out of it? It is in Jacksonville. I have never been there. I talked with my grandson yesterday and it was a pleasure. He is the greatest. I miss you Damien and Maddox.

Buying Apple stock

I am buying Apple stock. I am thinking that Apple has got their stuff together. I bought a notebook and many IPODs. the stuff is nice. People are jumping on the bandwagon.

Yesterday I did 4.5 miles. I hope to run my six today. I worked 11 hours yesterday. The day went pretty good. I am hoping for a repeat today. The weather is awesome, payday is this Friday, wifie is feeling great and looking HOT, she seems happy, cat is good, PCAR is waiting to be driven. Things are looking up. I just have a large to do list. I have to also start finding time to jump back on my bike. I am starting to think that it is time to quit the gym. I am thinking that if I can start riding my bike and running, then I don't really need the gym. The pool is just so damn far to travel to. And I hate getting in the water in the morning. But more thought needs to be put in the decesion. A new location just opened icloser by my house.

Weather is perfect for everything

The weather is perfect. But i feel as I have wasted it. I worked Sat which was the best day. Sunday I ended up in the gym and when I got out it was turning into a wonderful day. I spent most of the day inside working on my financial stuff. I am hoping that I do well in the market after the time that I am spending. Anyway, after about 5 hours of the boring stuff, I ended up spending 45 minutes washing cars and about 45 minutes in the garden. When I am training for Triathlons I really don't have time for simple things like gardening. So anyway, I am going to start my day by heading out, doing my six miler and smelling some of those wonderful smells that are only available this time of the year.

Work is getting in my way

I have a new Porsche sitting there waiting to be driven. I need to work out - but I cannot because of the load I am carrying at work. I am getting super frustrated and I am not making many friends because of it. I can really feel the stress and tension building. But I have already taken action on it. The calmness will be coming OR much less stress will be here shortly.

Wednesday I walked 4 miles instead of running. I may run early this morning and get to work at 6 am for an early start on my hectic day. Saturday is probably a sure bet for work. But not all is bad - the Porsche payments are fast approaching. Tax day is looming in the background. I hope that I don't owe much...

15 more minutes of meditation

I have to skip the gym this morning. Work keeps getting in the way. But, I made 55 hours last week. I am thinking that I can make 55 this week pretty easy. I would like to average 5 hours OT over the whole year. So a couple of 55's would equate to 6 weeks of 45's.

I can't run, so I am thinking of walking 4 miles this morning.

Moving from management back to worker

I took a temp position a year ago and have been miserable. I have had these types of positions before. I have hated them every time. I took it reluclantly. I finally had enough. I will work through my present jobs and start taking my direction from others.

My achillies was aching yesterday, so I did spinning and arc trainer. This morning I think I have time for 1.5 hours. I am out to visit a client today. Thank God I am away from the office.

Tonight I don't have school. It is mid terms. I am auditing so I am not a participant.

Later!

Back to the gym this morning

I have to go back to the gym this morning. I ran too many miles last week and my achillies is rather tight this morning. I will just do an hour - work is in the way. Wifies Birthday was yesterday. It was a laid back day for her. Me? It was balls to the wall - try and get everything done. 4 cars detailed - weekly clothes washing - financial portfolio work - grocery shopping - etc - you know the normal stuff. It is 3:11, I have abot 19 more minutes of meditation before the day really starts.

Wifie finds her dress

I went to work and wifie went to find her dress. She was tooling around town in a Porsche and shopping for dresses. She had a wonderful day and seemed pretty happy to me.

Friday - Payday

Friday - busy day today. Yesterday was extremly busy at work. I had to run home at 3pm to meet the appliance repairman. Stupid washer ended up malfunctioning - but it malfunctioned because of us. We accidently set it up in test mode???? The guy happily fixed it, but said that he had to charge us next time! I lost $150 of missed time for that!

I went to class last night and it was OK. Review for midterm. The midterm is Tuesday night. So, I get a night off.

Wifie got her medical results back yesterday and she does not have what she originally thought. She is happy about that, but we are nervous about what we have to do to find the root of her problems.

I have to take off early today so that we can revisit the financial planner. This is becoming a real time consuming slow process. I hope that it turns out to be worth it.

Time is flying

Thursday - I ran 6 miles x 3 days = 18 miles. Why? Because I have not been going to the gym. I have been going into work early. Achillies seems to be doing pretty good. I can live with it. Maybe I will skip today. Don't know. It is 3:08 am - early. The temp has been in the 30's for the past three mornings. It is now 44 this morning.

Wifie is very anxious to hear about her results. We should hopefully know today.

Me and wifie took the Porsche for a drive in the evening hours yesterday. Mosquitoes everywhere. My perfectly detailed car was covered in squashed mosquitos.

Oh yeah, it is midterm time again. Guess what? Yep I don't have to take the test. Man the grades really ruin the experiance. The difficulty adds to the experiance. Who needs difficulty? We all do. It is uncomfortable, but most of us seem to overcome.

Wifie finds out results of biopsy on Thursday

We are looking forward to biopsy results on Thursday. This will be a point where we can deal with some information. I don't know what else to say.

Last weekend was the weekend where daughter and grandchildren moved furthur away. We are talking practically half the country away. We were already distant. I will definatly miss the grandchildren. Maddox and Damien God Bless you both.

Back to school tonight. Work seems under control - even managable. How long will that last? Lots of paperwork still to do.

The Porsche is awesome to drive. Looking forward to driving it

Benson ruined the experience

Last Saturday afternoon my car was delivered to the dealership. I get to work on Monday and open my email and find out that my car is on the dealer's lot and the salesman informs me that I can get it that afternoon (Monday). I have some unusual work obligations and can't commit the hours that I think the process (car delivery) is going to take for Monday or Tuesday. So I am kind of frustrated - but my sense tells me to wait and get the car when I can take my time and enjoy the experience. I email the salesman back and tell him Monday and Tuesday is out of the question. He replies back and tells me to please come get the car by Wednesday because of end of the month sales numbers. This comment kind of ticks me off, because I have been waiting patiently 4 months for the car, - the whole time - I have been emailing him more then him emailing me about car's progress.

So anyway, I tell him I will be around Wednesday morning to get the car. I show up Wednesday morning around 10am and he is surprised to see me; he didn't think that I would be there so early. Wife asks sales manager where the car is. He tells her that the car is in a special place.

So we sit down in the salesman's office for a few minutes and the salesman tells us to come with him to inspect the car. The car is it's "special place"; out back where a guy is standing in front of it and another car with a hose and bucket. I am inspecting a car with filth and grime, various plastic coverings in some places. I cannot tell if there are scratches or what.

So me and wifie study the car in this condition, but we really know that it is pointless. I lose the common sense that I had because I am lusting for the car and am ready to take it in any condition. We end the inspection and proceed to handle all of the paperwork. Mistake numero uno! I should have ended the process right there and said I would be back when the car was properly detailed.

To make a long story short we ended up taking a hurried up wash job when I had the patience up front AND the dealer had plenty of time to make a quality delivery. My interior and trunk was also sub par.

I have bought other high end cars and the other dealers always attempted to make it a special experience.

I am thinking I am going to hang the guy when Porsche sends me their sales experience questionnaire.

Should I attempt to rectify the situation or should I just hang him on the questionnaire?

Feeling the pressure

Friday - the end of the week. Lots to do though. Taxes, running my business, gotta clean and drive the Porsche, gotta start working on the front porch, back gardens, taking care of wifie, gotta see the financial planner, work out, oh and my company is moving me across the street to another building so work is piling up and nothing is getting done.

I am feeling the stress. I need to work it out, but instead of working out this morning I need to go to the grocery to get wifie some supplies, not that I am complaining, I am happy to do it.

So today - no working out. And yesterday I weighed myself in at 162. My working out has started reaping results, but I had a short one yesterday and I am skipping today. Frustrating!

$1350 per month for sixty months.

After a couple of really hectic days of work the Porsche is home safe and sound. Wow - look at that garage. Never did I dream that my garage would look like this. Trail 70, Z4 or 911.

Monday was hectic - full of frustration about not getting my car. Tuesday - same.

Wednesday - did my workout, then back home to get wifie. We ended up having breakfast at a coffee shop while waiting for the bank to open. Then we headed down to the dealership to pick up the car. The dealership really dissapointed me. The car was not detailed. The dealership was pretty much - well a drag. Talk about ruining the whole experiance.

Oh yeah - this baby can be yours for the very reasonable price of ONLY $1350 per month. Thats only $43.50 per day or $1.81 per hour or $0.03 per minute. A bargain!

I chickened out on putting a super hugh deposit. I need to decide on paying this baby off as fast as possible or banking my extra and paying back the loan over the present schedule life. Decisions!